Finally, 2020 is behind us and fingers crossed, it gets better from here.

​It was an odd year for all of us, Plans cancelled, vacations postponed, celebrations done virtually... 

Though it allowed me to get some serious writing done, I wasn't able to visit any libraries or bookstores. No sales or events to sell my books or sign copies.

A lot of us have had to rely on social media to get the word out on our business and products, but I for one, have missed the in person exchange... even if it terrifies me the majority of the time.

I'm shy and can't take a compliment to save my life, hopefully this will be something to work on this year. However, 2020 made me work on my fear of being in front of the camera, live, to join Zoom meetings and FB video chats, something I would have avoided like the plague before... too soon for plague jokes, maybe?

I believe a lot of us learned how to be kind to ourselves, took the time and sat back when we probably wouldn't have if the world had shut down on us. We're discovering things about ourselves and those close to us, gaining a new perspective and goal to what we want for our lives.

Wishing you all a year of patience, kindness, and joy. I hope you discover things about yourself and pick up a new hobby... or old, perhaps finish that book or puzzle you've been telling yourself you never have time for.

Am I the only one who assumed since this pandemic was keeping us from our usual lives, we'd have all the time in the world to get things done?

Though I did finish the first draft of my 3rd novel, I'm only 1/3 way through editing. I did sew a bunch of clothes, but I also still have a pile of mending I keep ignoring. This blog... I'm just awful and seriously need a new system...or someone to smack me to put more effort into it.

October has whizzed by, less daylight and colder temperatures mean seasonal depression becomes best friends with my chronic depression...

It draining... Which means my art suffers. But these times also allows me to slow down, organize, prioritize things I might have put on the back burner for far too long.

One way I've "solved" distance between friends was start a podcast with my girlfriend Jennifer-June. I know,I know, sounds like it's just adding to my plate, but "seeing" her via Zoom amd laughing is just what my soul was craving.

Check out our podcast and listen to what we get up to and how we are getting through these crazy times.

www.werecrazycreative.com

​@were.crazy.creative.podcast

Nearly 100 days later, I'm back to work pretty much full-time. 

It also means I can go back to some normalcy, as much as possible that is. 

As my therapist has reminded me countless times, this has been a traumatic event that happened to everyone. Our world was turned upside down and life as we knew it, was no longer.

Being the introvert I am, the first few weeks was pretty epic. I continued to get up around the same time I would have for work, getting into projects early on in the day and pack my day full.

One downside was my waistline suffered to my need to bake nearly every couple days. I was missing Japan like crazy and made matcha ice cream and melon bread. Then I found myself making their cheese tea...

Then I had the bright idea to find he best oatmeal cookies recipe. I think I did 7 recipes in total, finally the last was best, a handwritten recipe in one of my great-grandmother"s cookbooks.

Self-care included making body and face scrubs, bath salts, a new wardrobe to work with my ever expanding body measurements.

But as time went on, the lack of physical contact begun to get heavy on my heart and mind. I found myself talking on the phone, something my anxiety always kept me from. Texting just makes everything easier to deal with, right? So I made facetime calls and virtual lunch dates with friends. I signed up to weekly dance lessons on Zoom then added K-Kardio on the weekend virtually as well.

The hugs! Oh my goodness! The freaking hugs! I finally broke down not long ago and hugged my parents, unable to take it much longer.

My therapist and I discussed different tools and ideas to keep my mentally and emotionally healthy, one being to start a journal. So off I went on my OCD search for the perfect journal/workbook. Blank pages only gave me anxiety and others weren't mental-health oriented. I finally decided on one and was over the top excited for it... to which I was pretty disappointed. It only had a mood wheel for one month and none of the pages were in order or made my sense.

So what did I do? Started brainstorming and tossed out ideas to friends who happily gave their opinion and shared their excitement for my project. A few weeks later and my dear friend Keri proofreading her copy and gave me feedback, I hit the publish button!

The response I have been getting has been overwhelming! I cannot thank everyone who has either shared it or bought their own copy. Hearing that those in search for something as I was, were finally able to add a tool to work on their self-care and self-love.

I'm hoping to create a ore kid-friendly one, something a little easier and straight forward, and I'm always open to suggestions or requests!

So here is my newest book-baby, I Got This.

I'd love to hear what you think if you bought it or are in search of something else as a journal or workbook. 

It's been almost a month since the Quebec government decided to shut down any non-essential companies, including where I work at.

Of course I, along with the majority of my coworkers, went through all the possibilities. Would we be off long? Could we work from home? Will we have a job to come back to?

The president and VP assured us we would all be taken care of, letting us know we'd all be taken care of. This, thankfully helped somewhat.

My mental health has been made my priority in the last few years, better understanding it, coming to embrace it. Being an introvert, it was a dream come true to be at home in quarantine, social distancing, avoiding everyone and everybody... 

But, I didn't take into the account how much I would miss the hugs from my family, stopping in and chatting with my sister or having tea with my mom. Luckily, we live in the country which means I can deliver cookies to my dad and chat outside on the farm, keeping more than 6 feet apart.

We've enjoyed Easter and birthday suppers over FB videochat. I've laughed and played games for 3 hours non-stop with friends in Montreal. Hearing their voices, seeing their smiles, being able to socialize virtually is something I thought I'd never enjoy.

Being stuck at home has given me the time to sit down and write, hitting the 100K mark last night on my third novel! The "creative cave" my husband set up for me couldn't have come at a better time. I think it really has been a major part of keeping me sane and mentally healthy. 

When I'm stuck on a chapter or need a break, I move onto my other creative hobby, sewing. I'm creating a new wardrobe for myself, in bit of a need of new frocks since I've put on a few pounds since our trip to Japan.

Oh mental illness, how I love thee.

One of the best decisions I made was signing up for a virtual dance class with one of my favourite troupes, The Diamond Denver Dolls. If this pandemic never happened, I probably wouldn't have ever had the chance to "dance" with them.

Trying to see the positive in all this chaos is helping me deal with the small struggles I have every day. 

I'm happy I had the time to discover new things about myself and enjoy the time to create, something I feel I have pushed aside a bit or struggled to get back into it when my depression threatens to bring me down.

I hope you're all doing well and have found different ways to stay busy, but keeping healthy. I look forward to sharing my projects with you, especially my novel! 

If I don't have a to-do list or notes scribbled onto our dry-erase calendar, I'm fantastic at procrastinating... As you've seen.

Not in everything of course.

But ever since I traveled to Japan last fall, I've realized what I need and want to focus on.

Japan ran so smoothly and almost effortlessly. Millions of people on a small island never felt packed at all. 

I was on sick leave for nearly 6 months, prior to this big, life-changing trip. My depression and anxiety got the best of me, my workplace at the time and certain people in my life pushed me over the edge.

It was a scary time, as well as frustrating and exhausting. The struggle to find the right medication and therapy was nothing compared to the judgement I received from others. "Faking" & "Wants attention", are thoughts and words people with mental illnesses never want to feel or hear.

And I did.

I pushed through, fought the negativity, and two-faced people whose actions were the opposite to the words they spoke. 

But I survived, learned a lot, and focused on things I love.

After my 36 years on this crazy little planet, I've learned to take a breath, smell the roses, and enjoy. No need to rush, no need to juggle, and no to be in more than one place at once.

The feedback and love I am receiving for my two novels makes me want to keep writing and creating worlds and characters for others to enjoy.

I find myself dedicating more time, much easier, making sure some sort of writing or writing related activity happens everyday.

Drafting, researching, marketing, reviewing, social media...not blogging... 

Okay, that's obviously I need to add to my agenda to make sure I get on here.

I want this blog to be honest and allow others to get to know me. I'm not only a writer, but a wife, sister, daughter, friend, and doxie mom.

Sewing, going for pedicures, finding the perfect shade of red lipstick, making tea lattes, and collecting stationery are just a few things I love.

​What do you want to know?

Where did the time go?

Between racing to get my final manuscript to my editor in time for the release date, my launch party of Let Go, Christmas and New Years, it has been a whirlwind!

A lot changed for me in 2019. Finally becoming a published author of not one, but two books! My husband and I traveled to Japan for 3 weeks, celebrated both our birthdays, and our wedding anniversary.

We said goodbye to my old pup, Boo, who was about to turn 16. It was a hard decision, but it was time. I hope to write a post about her and how we found each other all those years ago.

I also changed jobs, landing an amazing position at an even more amazing company. The only downside is there is no downtime for me to get some writing in, so I've been working on trying to schedule time before and after work to be creative.

My mental health took me for quite a ride in 2019 and it made it hard some days to find the energy to do things I love. But, with the help and encouragement from my husband, family, friends, and doctor, I'm back and working on book three!

There is more exciting news to share, but it'll have to wait for another day. I enjoy keeping you on your toes!

​I hope 2020 has many surprises in store for you!

A dear family friend, and teacher of mine from my days at Heroes', invited me to visit her grade 5 class at Knowlton Academy today.

Mrs. Blumenfeld welcomed me into her classroom off 22, excited children, eager to ask me questions and learn about how I got into writing and becoming a published author.

Miss. Olivia was there to welcome me, leading me up the flights of stairs to her classroom. She sat with me until the class was settled and ready, sharing how much she loves winter and the cold. Lucky kids had a snow day yesterday and she made a gingerbread house at her grandmother's home! What better way to spend a day away from school?

I received a warm welcome, big smiles, and waving arms, ready to ask me questions and throw out random facts about their dogs and how some liked the 1600s. There were so many good questions, some veered off of the writing process, and onto my style and clothing, but I loved how curious they all were.

Did you know that if I traveled back to the dinosaur times I'd wear dinosaur dresses? I didn't, but an adorable boy, who I believe is the class comedian, advised me so.

It was so nice to see them pull out their notebooks and pencils, their faces so close to the pages, writing down ideas of what story they'd like to write for a book. From hyper dogs to race-cars, to a tiny baby chick who lays blue and green eggs to go-karting, they all had something different.

When it comes to writing, it's important to write what you love, and Mrs Blumenfeld made it very clear to every boy and girl there. You need to show your passion and the reader will see it in your words. 

Write what you know.

I hope those who are bookworms continue to read, those who dream of writing a book continue to scribble in their notebook, and those who are curious continue to learn and enjoy hours of research.

Being greeted with a smile and pure excitement from a stranger had to be the best way to begin my morning at the Knowlton Literary Festival.

She didn't stay a stranger long, however, the second Diane shared her last name, I knew exactly who she was.

My dad had told me how between the Redmiles, Pages, Blumenfelds, and McKells, they had enough kids to form two baseball teams when he was growing up.

"You were on one of the baseball teams!" I said to Diane, growing excited.

"Your aunt Georgina and I were best friends. I was always up at Uncle Harry and Aunt Ethel's," she happily told me.

Growing up in the country, we pretty much all joke about how small the world is and everyone knows everyone, or at least someone. And who knew, my book, would bring Diane and I together that day.

Everyone was so welcoming; the festival's volunteers, fellow authors, bookworms, and dare I say (cue blushing), my own fans?

Roger Williams was the "master of ceremonies' that weekend and hosted our little panel of local authors. Everything ran smoothly and time flew by, mostly thanks to him.

I was lucky enough to share the stage with three other talented writers, including: Fred Langan, Ross Murray, and Heather Croghan Moreland.

The audience were kind and eager to ask questions, some directed at certain writers, or some which applied to everyone. 

Thoroughly enjoying the entire experience, I hope I'm invited back next year again as an author. Meeting fellow bookworms and those interested in beginning their writing journey.

A huge thank you to Lucy and Danny at Brome Lake Books, who nominated me to be part of this wonderful and important festival in the beautiful Eastern Townships of Quebec.

Who knew this would happen? Not me. Especially not me a few years ago when I first attended the festival with my mom on the opening night. 

I listened to the local author panel answer questions, looked over their work for sale at the tables bordering the small room at the festival, and held onto my book proposal letter in the hopes I'd either, A: Find *that* important person to make my dream come true. B: Have the courage to hand over said letter to said person. Neither happened.

I found the courage to ask questions at a workshop and discussion, but sadly didn't get what I needed. However, it did light a fire under me and now I find myself in the count down to being a participant! 

I don't know exactly what to expect, honestly. But I will be there with my books and tea, pen in hand, ready to sign copies, and will hopefully have the answers to the questions asked by both fans of my writing and writers themselves. 

If I can at least be the person I searched for at the festival, before I was published, I'll be more than happy.